October 3, 2013
An unarmed, 34 year old dental hygienist by the name of Miriam Carey,
from Stamford Connecticut, was murdered earlier today near the home of
reputed mob boss Barack Obama. Dozens of bullets tore through her black
two-door Infiniti, as she traveled with her toddler. Her body was so
badly torn apart by the gunfire, that in the end, the gunmen were not
even sure who it was they had killed.
When asked what provoked such a vicious assault, the assassins told
reporters that the woman had come too close to the gates of their
leaders home. Though there are reports the gang members may have been
trying shift blame onto the young mother, for damage one of their own vehicles had caused.
So brutal was the slaying, that even one of the gangs mid level leaders was frightened, according to the New York Times,
Representative Juan Vargas of California said he was
walking back toward the Capitol when he heard several loud bangs, which
he initially thought might be a car backfiring.