Monday, February 3, 2014

The State of the Union - SATIRE!

Chris Veritas
Some Cry Wolf

State of the Union Speech (Abridged)


My fellow Americans, the state of the Union is Good!

Just yesterday, 20 teachers stayed after class to help one student spell the word 'cat'. Even though he is a high-school senior, this is an example of incredible progress. America spends more money on education per capita than any other nation. We will continue to throw money at the problem. And one day Jonny Will. Spell. Cat!

(Mad applause from the gallery.)

I propose, without legislation, to save the world from ignominy, slim fat people, promote aimlessness, connote homelessness, design catchy slogans, and coddle corporations while paving the streets with gold.

We're doing this and we're doing that; moving and shaking; shuckin' and jivin'; I'm the President and i give great high-fives with smooth wrist action. Did you see me as I sauntered into the room? I'm one cool cat! America, everything is gonna be all right.

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