Monday, March 24, 2014

Crimea River or Lose Me Forever - Satire!

Chris Veritas
Some Cry Wolf

NBC Nightly News

With wild fanfare the American Press is announcing a brand new gleaming spy operation aimed at catching Russia unawares.

Jay Carney elaborates, "They will never see this coming. We have them right where we want them."

No one is quite sure how this announcement will benefit the spy op, but sources close to the operation assure us there is a good reason. TV anchors have really not thought about it enough to speculate, but there are a few weirdos in the independent press who have wasted their time with this sort of odd querying. Here is what they (yawn) have to say.

Darius Cyrus, from The Logical Thinker, opined, "This whole thing is a joke. I mean, do they actually expect us to believe this horse manure?"

George Washington Adams, from the Liberty or Death Gazette, said, "Every day the "News" gets more ridiculous. Why would the Government announce it was spying on ANYONE? Is this some sort of IQ test for the nation? If they can pass this one off, we fail and may just fall off the map."

And lastly, Michelle Rodin, from the Institute of Media Aesthetics, quipped, "From a purely aesthetic standpoint, you have to admit that the veil placed over the public's collective eye is well woven. Next thing you know they'll be telling us a story about a missing plane, and making it stretch on for weeks, while some poor country is being dismantled. Wait. No. That would never fly."

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